Disgust: to cause loathing or nausea in.
Synonyms: 1. sicken, nauseate. 2. repel, revolt. 4. abhorrence
When I look at myself that is what I feel. When I put on my makeup in the morning or do my hair, brush my teeth...anything that requires a mirror, I do not "look" at me. I look at what I'm doing. My eyelid, my tooth, the section of hair I'm working with...but not the whole thing; not me. I use a small round mirror to make that easier. I only look at what I need. The full length mirror I have is on the floor, not mounted so I can never see the entire thing. There will always be a disconnect from my body....I never have to look at the face that is attached to the body that reflects back. Every now and then I'll be sitting at my desk/computer and I'll catch a glimpse of my entire face in the mirror where I do put on my makeup. I will literally turn away with disgust and push the mirror back or shift the angle so that I cannot see my own reflection.
One of her favorite things to say to me was, "Mirror, mirror on the wall...I've turned into my mother after all."
I look like her; everybody says it but that's exactly what I'm afraid of.