Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Get out of my way

I sit here at my desk-the place where I do many things in my life-work, relax, plan and the things that surround me are meant to inspire, strengthen, and encourage me. I have the card my therapist gave me when I graduated with a beautiful story she wrote for me inside. An incredible letter from a dear friend with pictures of when we were young telling me how awesome I am is taped above my computer screen. To my right I have my 2013 Vision Board reminding me to be DELIBERATE this year. And finally my personal favorite-Oh, the Places You'll Go! By Dr. Seuss. But carelessly tossed on top them are bills, books, and budgets; receipts and reminders: tiny burdens that when added together weigh me down so far below the well intended promises from those who mean the most to me. And as I look at these things I am able to see my internal world-a stark representation of my private and painful battle. I am a fighter...there is no denying. Fighting myself, however, is a battle I can never win. I do not know how to surrender.

I continually find myself standing at the precipice of my every desire, with strengthened wings so ready to see what they can do...just begging for the chance to fly...and I can't figure out how to get out of my own way.