It's been a while

This is the song I've been listening to over and over again throughout this whole dating process. It brings me comfort and helps me dream about a happy and safe life...something I've only ever imagined and fantasized about.

And that fantasy is what keeps me going on this really uncomfortable and super awkward journey. Here is a glimpse into how it began...we'll see where it goes from here~

Awkward situation #1: We were introduced by my employer (one of them anyway). I have been working with and babysitting her adopted daughter for nearly 5 years. He's her summer math and keyboarding tutor. Employer confronts me and asks if I'm single. After some brief discussion, the glint in her eye grows as she tells me her daughter's tutor is coming in an hour and that her daughter needs to shower and change before he gets there. She tells me a bit about him and asks if I might be interested in him and to let her know when he leaves. I make polite inquiries and conversation. She encourages me to ask him when he arrives and she saunters off upstairs to shower and get ready herself. After the hour long tutor session is up, employer confronts him...asks him the same questions and requests to exchange both of our emails/phone numbers. On the spot...people aren't going to say no when they know the other person is in the other room. So that was unpleasant. Employer, however, was thrilled and immediately forwarded me his email address and strongly encourages me to contact him. So I do...

Awkward situation #2: He returns my email days later and leaves no room for conversation. He simply ends with "We should chat sometime." ...Uh...yeah....we should. The end. So I don't respond. Weird. Whatever, game over! The next week I'm working again. Low and behold there are post-it notes for me from employer saying Tutor comes again today. Cue text messages from employer..."Don't forget to ask Tutor how she did today." uncomfortable. He shows up and asks if I got his email. me-"Yes I did." him- "You didn't like it?" me-"I wasn't exactly sure what to say...she's all yours, here ya go!" I respond to his email while he's tutoring.... "Yes we should." Fast forward and tutor session is up and he sticks around looking at the books I ordered through the family on Amazon and he's text messaging me while I'm in the other room. me-"Welp, it's time for us to run our errands! We'll see you later! Bye!" .... He leaves and child says, "Do you think he likes you?" ughhh.... me- "I don't know? What makes you say that" her-"I don't know, I think he does...oooooo!" me-"Oh please, get in the car, we have errands to run." "I'm just saying..."

A couple of text message chats for the next two weeks or so. I go on vacation, he runs a half marathon. We decide to have our first date when he recovers...and that's enough for now. The awkward situations that followed will not have their full effect if I just quickly ramble through them.

So until next time...

Oye.
Still Secretly Surviving...